Valentines we'll never see

To Tara Conner:

You guzzled booze; you snorted coke
You partied like a slut.
The embodiment of class and poise
You were anything but.

But now you have a second chance
To make my heart beat gladder.
Which shows I really can forgive,
Except for Miss Nevada.

The Donald


Barak:

You want to be the president
But just what does that mean
When Biden says you're handsome
Articulate and clean?

It means that someone's looking hard
At pieces of your past
And dragging up all kinds of stuff
To see how long you'll last.

Rest assured, I know the score
You don't deserve that strife.
So back away, no need to play,
Let's just elect my wife.

Bill


Bill

Do you recall the time we had?
We thought the world was ours.
But then you had to mess things up
With Lewinsky, Jones and Flowers.

I'll be the brand new comeback kid
I'm here to tell you, son,
I'm sure to win, there's be no spin
I'll show you how it's done.

Hillary


Astronaut Lisa Nowak:

Roses are red
Pigs live in pens
For Valentine's Day
A box of Depends.

Violets are blue
Whaddya say?
To blasting a rival
With some pepper spray.

Your three-sided romance
We won't forget soon.
You just gave new meaning
To over the moon.