It's Your Day - Maybe

I've always said that there's an Internet site for just about everything — photos of cats with markings that make the poor critters look like Hitler, for instance.

Before that, I said there's a magazine for just about everything. Ever heard of Coon Dog Monthly?

Seems there's a holiday for just about everything too. Not those legitimate proclamation-type holidays like Cancer Awareness Month or American Chocolate Week (next week!), but stuff that makes you wonder if people aren't stretching things a bit - National Spandex Month, if there is one and there probably is, notwithstanding.

This month, in fact we missed it, some folks acknowledged "What if Dogs and Cats Had Opposable Thumbs Day." It was March 3, too late to do much about it now, but I can tell you what would happen if my two cats had opposable thumbs. They'd figure out how to work the can opener, write checks on my bank account, and kick me out of my own home, that's what they'd do. Don't even think about that. They're wily enough as it is.

This month we celebrate spring fever week. Just a week? I've had it all month.

March 27 is Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day. Do we really need to encourage that?

We missed National Name Tag Day, March 9. Well, I didn't miss it; I would have ignored it if I had known about it. I hate those things. Everybody in a room walks around looking at everyone else's chests. You wanna know my name? Ask me! Who else among us has forgotten they had a name tag stuck on their blouse, and ran through a checkout line wearing it, like you want the world to know your name. And then, if you're as forgetful as I am, you throw the blouse with the tag on it in the washer, and the dryer, and you have a permanent tag on that blouse.

That leads to March 18 - National Awkward Moments Day. Oopsie!

March 23 is pretty much like any other day when I don't embarrass myself, and shouldn't be limited to just one day: OK Day. Most of my days are just that, OK.

In the event there isn't a day commemorating crabby Baby Boomer women looking for chocolate and a day when I'm not wondering how long it's going to take the 20-somethings to totally mess up our world, it's pretty much covered by March 31: "She's Funny That Way Day."

Here's to ya.'