Paris in the rain

Every now and then, when you feel that life is simply unjust and there is no fairness in this world, something happens that actually makes sense. It gives one hope - or at least makes one feel a little smug and self-righteous.

Paris Hilton is going to have to do some jail time.

I can't begin to describe how funny I find that. Everybody with a pulse knows that when your driver's license is suspended for DWI you can't drive and you certainly ought to be watching your intake of the sauce. You don't just go around boozing it up and driving like an idiot and getting busted again without some consequences. But Paris believes she's above all that. She says she didn't read the judgment leveled aginst her. She says she has "people who do that for her."

And now she's saying that 45 days in the slammer is "unjust." Can't you just imagine a petulent little girl, sticking out her lower lip in a pout and stamping her foot and whining: "It's not fair!"

Sorry, Paris. Life ain't fair. It rains on the just and the unjust, and you just got rained on. Sometimes the system works.

(Pardon me while I dissolve into fits of giggles.)

And don't you just love the judge? Not only did he say that the girl who is a living definition of vacuous has to do the time, if she doesn't, or if she follows through with an appeal, he's going to double the sentence.

Consider the possibilties here. Poor little rich girl goes to the slammer. She'll have to clean her own toilet. Wait'll she tastes jail food! Imagine if she has to share living quarters with street-wise ladies who behave pretty much like she does but without her money that has so far helped her get away with it. Someone who shops at thrift stores. Someone whose drugs of choice are of the street variety. A big broad who could body slam her just for funsies.

Don't you get the feeling that if you shined a flashlight in one of Paris Hilton's ears, the beam would come out the other ear?

The sad thing is that if she really does go to jail, it's not going to teach her what it should. Chances are it'll make her more famous for — what? Having no purpose in life other than to have a good time? Be a spoiled little rich girl who thinks she doesn't have to play by everyone else's rules? She'll come out unscathed and just go back to doing what she does best — whatever that is. Being a good bad example?

Now that's not fair!

(But let's hear it for the judge anyway!)