It has been said that older people take more risks because they no longer care about impressing anyone. Or maybe it's because we no longer fear the consequences.
Whatever.
Today on my way to a doctor's appointment, I dutifully turned off my cell phone because a sign on the lab wall said to. I could have been rebellious and left it on. It's not like it rings all that much anyway; I just use it for business calls - usually when I'm lost and need directions.
But I turned it off because what if it had rung while I was sitting there? It might have made a difference in my lab results.
If I were really rebellious I'd have left it off and taken the consequences.
I'm working on it. When I pay my bills and the instructions ask that I write on the return slip how much I'm sending them I leave it blank. I don't know if it's being contrary or because I figure whoever is opening the envelope can look on the check and figure it out.
Same with those instructions "please write your check number on the slip." What for? They got a pencil same as I do.
Here lately I've had this nagging desire to be obnoxious just for the heck of it. I leave my shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot where I unloaded bags of groceries into my trunk instead of pushing it over to the designated gathering place at the end of the aisle for carts to wait for their return to the store. Sometimes I'll push it away and if it blocks the adjacent car, so what? I get a certain thrill out of knowing I have inconvenienced some stranger.
I noticed a couple of weeks ago that the store installed some more of those shopping cart pens in the middle of the aisle to accompany the ones at the end. Did I cause them to go to all that trouble and waste a perfectly good parking space so more shoppers would push their carts into the pen? Don't know. But I like to think so. Do I push my cart to those more conveniently-placed pens? Get real! After so many years of being told to be considerate of others, I'm enjoying being a pain in the tush.
One of these days I'm really going to go for big time obnoxious. It's been on my mind for some time to do it, and soon I'm gonna cut loose and be a real pain. After all these years of being deliberately nice and thinking of others, I'm building up to obnoxious-hood, albeit slowly. But I have a plan.
You know those drive-through stations at the bank with the hydraulic tubes? You put your transaction into the plastic container and shoot it over to the banker at the window? One of these days, when I take my deposit slip out of the plastic container and put the container back into its place at the station — ooh, I just tingle at the thought of all this rebellion — I'm gonna hit the green button and send that empty container through the tube, then take off!
I'm walking on the wild side here. What a trip!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Be cool; chill out
It's the summer solstice. The longest day of the year. The beginning of hot, sultry summer — unless you live in Southeast Missouri and have already had a taste of that since about April.
In the interest of public safety and comfort, here are some tips for staying cool during the upcoming summer months.
+ Smoothies. All you need is some fruit, yogurt and a blender. Oh yeah. And a glass.
+ Co-exist with dust bunnies. Cleaning works up a sweat. They'll be there when the fall comes and you can deal with them then.
+ Rent movies with a winter theme: White Christmas, Dr. Zhivago, Ice Age, documentaries on penguins or polar exploration.
+ Check out You Tube videos of the baby polar bear Knute. He's not only in icy surroundings, he's also so darned cute you'll forget how hot it is.
+ Frozen grapes. Eat them or stuff them in your bra.
+ Find someone heavier than you and sit in their shadow.
+ Check into a luxury hotel for a day or a weekend, one with an indoor pool in a climate-controlled area.
+ Root beer floats.
+ Popsicles. Red ones.
+ Jell-O pie. Red Jell-O with fruit cocktail in it, poured into a graham cracker crust and topped with graham cracker crumbs.
+ OK. Orange Jell-O. What do I care? Whatever cools you down.
+ Cucumber soup for lunch. Or Gaspacho.
+ Take a walk in the cool of the evening. Through the lawn sprinkler.
+ Lemonade. Sipped while lounging under a shade tree.
+ Tomato sandwiches.
+ Iced coffee. With lemon.
+ Wear loose clothing. Tuck ice packs in the folds.
+ Remember last winter and how you griped about how cold it was.
Feeling cooler yet? Chill out.
In the interest of public safety and comfort, here are some tips for staying cool during the upcoming summer months.
+ Smoothies. All you need is some fruit, yogurt and a blender. Oh yeah. And a glass.
+ Co-exist with dust bunnies. Cleaning works up a sweat. They'll be there when the fall comes and you can deal with them then.
+ Rent movies with a winter theme: White Christmas, Dr. Zhivago, Ice Age, documentaries on penguins or polar exploration.
+ Check out You Tube videos of the baby polar bear Knute. He's not only in icy surroundings, he's also so darned cute you'll forget how hot it is.
+ Frozen grapes. Eat them or stuff them in your bra.
+ Find someone heavier than you and sit in their shadow.
+ Check into a luxury hotel for a day or a weekend, one with an indoor pool in a climate-controlled area.
+ Root beer floats.
+ Popsicles. Red ones.
+ Jell-O pie. Red Jell-O with fruit cocktail in it, poured into a graham cracker crust and topped with graham cracker crumbs.
+ OK. Orange Jell-O. What do I care? Whatever cools you down.
+ Cucumber soup for lunch. Or Gaspacho.
+ Take a walk in the cool of the evening. Through the lawn sprinkler.
+ Lemonade. Sipped while lounging under a shade tree.
+ Tomato sandwiches.
+ Iced coffee. With lemon.
+ Wear loose clothing. Tuck ice packs in the folds.
+ Remember last winter and how you griped about how cold it was.
Feeling cooler yet? Chill out.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
I gotta remember - what? I forget
So there I was one day last week. I'd just put a load of groceries in the trunk of my car and was headed home. I cranked the ignition, set the air conditioner at "meat locker blast" and as I was buckling up, the Righteous Brothers started crooning through the radio:
"You never close your eyes any more when I kiss your lips...."
That song could always send me into ecstasy. It's a short trip from the supermarket parking lot to home by way of ecstasy, and en route I sang along with those groovy Righteous Brothers. I know all the words. Can't carry a tune in a bucket, but I know the words. All of them.
So I leave the 60s and memories of a smaller waist, and unload the trunk. Dang! I forgot to buy paper towels. And that was one of the reasons I went to the store. I need paper towels. Can't microwave dinner without them.
So what's the deal here? Why is it I can remember the entire score of "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" but can't remember to buy paper towels?
Like most M&M-age women (between Menopause and Medicare) I worry about getting Alzheimer's disease. If I don't have all my marbles, I don't care to stay in the game. Just how many marbles are left, and is my shooter rolling straight? I worry about that.
No Alzheimer's in my family, but my mother could never remember my name. And I was her only daughter. But she could rattle off the date and time down to the second of every stupid thing I ever did or thought of doing. I guess as we age there's only so much room in one's memory bank, and my name got edged out.
I seem to have the same problem. I go from the living room to the kitchen to — what? It's not that long a walk. What did I come in here for? So back to the living room; I trip over the cat. Oh yeah! Feed the cat.
Yet I can tell after hearing three seconds of violins that what follows will be the Drifters crooning "This Magic Moment." And yes, I know the words to that song too.
Why is it I can remember my parents' first telephone number, but every now and again I wonder if I remembered to take my meds? The ones I have to take every morning.
A poem I had to commit to memory in the 6th grade is still there. Every time I vote — and I vote every time — I have to look up the precinct location.
This wouldn't be so frustrating if there were really a need for me to remember that Question Mark and the Mysterions recorded the song "96 Tears." There's other stuff I NEED to remember, but useless stuff clogs up my memory like chicken fat in the kitchen sink drain.
You know, I've got half a mind to — um — well — oh heck. I forgot where I was going with this.
"You never close your eyes any more when I kiss your lips...."
That song could always send me into ecstasy. It's a short trip from the supermarket parking lot to home by way of ecstasy, and en route I sang along with those groovy Righteous Brothers. I know all the words. Can't carry a tune in a bucket, but I know the words. All of them.
So I leave the 60s and memories of a smaller waist, and unload the trunk. Dang! I forgot to buy paper towels. And that was one of the reasons I went to the store. I need paper towels. Can't microwave dinner without them.
So what's the deal here? Why is it I can remember the entire score of "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling" but can't remember to buy paper towels?
Like most M&M-age women (between Menopause and Medicare) I worry about getting Alzheimer's disease. If I don't have all my marbles, I don't care to stay in the game. Just how many marbles are left, and is my shooter rolling straight? I worry about that.
No Alzheimer's in my family, but my mother could never remember my name. And I was her only daughter. But she could rattle off the date and time down to the second of every stupid thing I ever did or thought of doing. I guess as we age there's only so much room in one's memory bank, and my name got edged out.
I seem to have the same problem. I go from the living room to the kitchen to — what? It's not that long a walk. What did I come in here for? So back to the living room; I trip over the cat. Oh yeah! Feed the cat.
Yet I can tell after hearing three seconds of violins that what follows will be the Drifters crooning "This Magic Moment." And yes, I know the words to that song too.
Why is it I can remember my parents' first telephone number, but every now and again I wonder if I remembered to take my meds? The ones I have to take every morning.
A poem I had to commit to memory in the 6th grade is still there. Every time I vote — and I vote every time — I have to look up the precinct location.
This wouldn't be so frustrating if there were really a need for me to remember that Question Mark and the Mysterions recorded the song "96 Tears." There's other stuff I NEED to remember, but useless stuff clogs up my memory like chicken fat in the kitchen sink drain.
You know, I've got half a mind to — um — well — oh heck. I forgot where I was going with this.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
In the name of what — justice?
In case lawyers even wonder why they're so universally disliked:
According to the Heartand Institute a woman sued Stabucks for damages she supposedly suffered when she was sold "scalding" hot coffee. McDonald's was also sued in Texas by a different woman who said the server failed to warn her the coffeee was hot. This same thing happened in 1994 when a woman successfully sued McDonald's when she got hot coffee at the drive through, put the cup in her lap for a moment, and — duh! — was burned when it spilled after the car moved.
OK. Once and for all, Listen up people. Coffee is HOT. It will HURT! If it does it's YOUR OWN DAMNED FAULT! If you can't keep from burning yourself, you don't need a lawyer. You need a sippy cup.
There. I feel better now.
And then there's the Ohio high school student who was disciplined and criminally charged for hacking into his teacher's computer to look at a biology test he had to take. He — and his parents— sued the school after he was suspended for five days and given an F for the test. The suit alleges that the student was denied special counseling and treated more harshly than other students because he was in the country on a student visa. He claims his rights were violated.
OK Kid. Here's how it works. Cheating is wrong. You cheated. You are responsible. You take the punishment. It work that way in all countries.
And here's one for his parents: You're supposed to teach him that. Someone should sue you for malreproduction.
And while we're at it, here's another one - same source as the other two. A disability rights group in California sued a school district - and won in federal court - saying that the school's playground discriminated against wheelchair-bound disabled students because there are wood chips on the ground and their wheelchairs get stuck and prevent the children from wheeling themselves to swings and slides. The federal judge concurred with the plaintiffs that the children don't have the strength to move the chairs through the wood chips and can't be mainstreamed with other children. So the district is considering installing rubber mats on the playgrounds that will cost $2.7 million.
It should be obvious. Apparently it isn't. Why would those kids be allowed to go on swings and slides if they're disabled and can't maneuver their chairs?
Sounds to me like another lawsuit just waiting to happen.
Has common sense been outlawed or is it just hiding until all the lawyers go away?
According to the Heartand Institute a woman sued Stabucks for damages she supposedly suffered when she was sold "scalding" hot coffee. McDonald's was also sued in Texas by a different woman who said the server failed to warn her the coffeee was hot. This same thing happened in 1994 when a woman successfully sued McDonald's when she got hot coffee at the drive through, put the cup in her lap for a moment, and — duh! — was burned when it spilled after the car moved.
OK. Once and for all, Listen up people. Coffee is HOT. It will HURT! If it does it's YOUR OWN DAMNED FAULT! If you can't keep from burning yourself, you don't need a lawyer. You need a sippy cup.
There. I feel better now.
And then there's the Ohio high school student who was disciplined and criminally charged for hacking into his teacher's computer to look at a biology test he had to take. He — and his parents— sued the school after he was suspended for five days and given an F for the test. The suit alleges that the student was denied special counseling and treated more harshly than other students because he was in the country on a student visa. He claims his rights were violated.
OK Kid. Here's how it works. Cheating is wrong. You cheated. You are responsible. You take the punishment. It work that way in all countries.
And here's one for his parents: You're supposed to teach him that. Someone should sue you for malreproduction.
And while we're at it, here's another one - same source as the other two. A disability rights group in California sued a school district - and won in federal court - saying that the school's playground discriminated against wheelchair-bound disabled students because there are wood chips on the ground and their wheelchairs get stuck and prevent the children from wheeling themselves to swings and slides. The federal judge concurred with the plaintiffs that the children don't have the strength to move the chairs through the wood chips and can't be mainstreamed with other children. So the district is considering installing rubber mats on the playgrounds that will cost $2.7 million.
It should be obvious. Apparently it isn't. Why would those kids be allowed to go on swings and slides if they're disabled and can't maneuver their chairs?
Sounds to me like another lawsuit just waiting to happen.
Has common sense been outlawed or is it just hiding until all the lawyers go away?
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