It's the summer solstice. The longest day of the year. The beginning of hot, sultry summer — unless you live in Southeast Missouri and have already had a taste of that since about April.
In the interest of public safety and comfort, here are some tips for staying cool during the upcoming summer months.
+ Smoothies. All you need is some fruit, yogurt and a blender. Oh yeah. And a glass.
+ Co-exist with dust bunnies. Cleaning works up a sweat. They'll be there when the fall comes and you can deal with them then.
+ Rent movies with a winter theme: White Christmas, Dr. Zhivago, Ice Age, documentaries on penguins or polar exploration.
+ Check out You Tube videos of the baby polar bear Knute. He's not only in icy surroundings, he's also so darned cute you'll forget how hot it is.
+ Frozen grapes. Eat them or stuff them in your bra.
+ Find someone heavier than you and sit in their shadow.
+ Check into a luxury hotel for a day or a weekend, one with an indoor pool in a climate-controlled area.
+ Root beer floats.
+ Popsicles. Red ones.
+ Jell-O pie. Red Jell-O with fruit cocktail in it, poured into a graham cracker crust and topped with graham cracker crumbs.
+ OK. Orange Jell-O. What do I care? Whatever cools you down.
+ Cucumber soup for lunch. Or Gaspacho.
+ Take a walk in the cool of the evening. Through the lawn sprinkler.
+ Lemonade. Sipped while lounging under a shade tree.
+ Tomato sandwiches.
+ Iced coffee. With lemon.
+ Wear loose clothing. Tuck ice packs in the folds.
+ Remember last winter and how you griped about how cold it was.
Feeling cooler yet? Chill out.
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