If they can send a man to the moon...

If they can put a man on the moon, why can't they:

* Invent a device to be installed on the dashboard of all cars that lets you zap the headlights of any oncoming car with its high beams that are blinding you.

* Program that same device to lower the volume of any blasting radio or CD player for a minimum of six hours.

* Oh heck, might as well make it able to disconnect the cell phone connection of any idiot driver who nearly smashes into your car because s/he wasn't paying attention.

* Make rear window wipers standard equipment on all vehicles. They look so practical. Why are they an option?

* Create a fat-free, calorie-free, healthful, good-tasting jelly doughnut.

* Ditto black forest torte. Pizza. Any flavor of pie. Cookies.

* Create a computer program that can figure out what you're trying to get across when you're composing on it, and automatically correct your grammar and spelling. And punctuation.

* Invent a clothes dryer that has a setting to take the wrinkles out of cotton clothing and leave them looking starched and pressed.

* Send Lindsey Lohan there until she dries out.

* Send Brittney Spears there until she learns parenting skills and a profession.

* Send Paris Hilton there just because.

* Send Osama bin Laden halfway there and leave him.

* Send Congress there and not let them come back until gas prices are less than $1 a gallon. Until health care costs don't mean choosing between going to the doctor/pharmacy/hospital or going to the grocery store.

* Leave them there until our borders are secure from terrorists and English is not only spoken here, but mandatory.

* Leave them there until they stop wasting our money. And then make them pay to come back.