Say what? Not cheese!

It's kind of fun to read about frivolous lawsuits and feel morally superior to people who file them and the lawyers who take their money. And feel outraged when some idiot judge rules in their favor.

I always thought it was a black/white issue until I read about one who brought shades of gray to my way of thinking.

It seems a man in West Virginia sued McDonald's for $10 million because he got cheese on his Quarter Pounder. He's allergic to cheese and had asked that no cheese be put on the burger. In justifying his suit he said he "took multiple preventive steps to assure his food did not contain cheese."

James Taranto of the Wall Street Journal said, according to the Lawsuit Abuse Fortnightly from the Heartland Institute, "So apparently the 'multiple preventive steps' he took 'to assure his food did not contain cheese' did not include looking at the damn sandwich before eating it."

So here's the deal. I hate cheese. I'm not allergic to it, I just don't like the stuff. If I had to depend on government commodities for sustenance and had to take the cheese they give out, I'd starve. I can sympathize with the guy.

It's not as easy as just "looking at the damn sandwich." What's so difficult about honoring a request to leave off a slice of cheese. Quarter Pounders are listed on the menu as Quarter Pounders and Quarter Pounders with cheese. He ordered a Quarter Pounder. He didn't mention cheese; he should not have gotten any.

For some reason there's a move afoot to force cheese on people. Many times I have gone through a drive-through and asked for a hamburger. From the squawker: "You want cheese on that?"

Had I wanted cheese I would have said "with cheese." I didn't. I say no. Sometimes I get cheese. Then I get cheesed off.

I used to say, no, thank you, but they never heard the no, heard only the thank you and slapped cheese on my burger. I wouldn't know that until I got it home and then it became a choice: do I drive back, go through the line and ask for an exchange, or do I just scape off the cheese? You never get all of it off and there's always that residual taste of cheese lingering on the burger.

So I got to the point where I wouldn't move the car until I opened the bag, took out the burger and did a cheese check. Didn't endear me to the kid at the window, but what do I care? They don't work for tips; he can wait until the customer is satisfied.

It happens in classier restaurants too. Especially those steak houses that offer a "loaded" baked potato. One waitress took my order for a steak and baked potato with butter. No sour cream. Don't like that stuff either. No cheese. She came back with a loaded baked potato. I sent it back. She brought me a second one. I sent it back. She asked "don't you want cheese on your potato?" I said "I don't want cheese anywhere near my plate." How much more simple can a request be? I hope she wasn't surprised when I left no tip.

It's safe to say that I dislike cheese about as much as I dislike sleazy lawyers. But I can understand the West Virginia guy's frustration. One should reasonably expect to order a burger without cheese and not have to think about whether or not some kid on a burger assembly line didn't go the extra mile. It's his right to be able to bite into a burger when he's hungry and not be surprised and then suffer the consequences of his allergies.

This is a case I may follow to see if the shades of gray turn black or white. If he wins the $10 million in damages, that sets legal precedent. It's been a while since I ordered anything at a fast food restaurant. Maybe we can get a class action case going.