A Teddy bear named WHAT?

OK. Now I'm mad.

Someone, somewhere, please — smuggle or otherwise spirit Gillian Gibbons out of Sudan.

It's ridiculous that this British teacher was accused of blasphemy over her second grade students' naming a Teddy bear Mohammad. It's even more ridiculous that she was sentenced to 15 days in jail for such a thing. It's crazy she could have been lashed 40 times, but it's downright ASININE that some militant Islam extremists are calling for her execution.

Give. Me. A. Break.

I'm sick to death of hearing about people who force us to tread lightly because we celebrate Christmas. Not a winter holiday. But Christmas. I'm saying it again because I can — Merry Christmas.

I'm sick to death of people squawking because there's no religous diversity in the — here it comes — Christmas season. Helllooo. It's a Christian holiday. Let's not make it something it isn't. Don't like it? Celebrate something else, but shut up about it. We don't go messing with Kwanzaa, Hanukkah or Ramadan; we respect your right to celebrate them. Accord us the same courtesy. It's bad enough we Christians are ruining it with all the commrecialism attached to it.

Now we have these miitant camel jockeys saying that Gillian Gibbons should be executed because she took Mohammad's name in vain. She didn't mean any disrespect. Her class named the Teddy bear after a boy in the class; just about every little towel head is named Mohammad. What's the difference?

So the gloves are coming off. Until the Islamic extremists shut up and crawl back under the rock they came out from, I have no regard for them. Until they back off Gillian Gibbons and apologize for being idiots, I am launching a full frontal attack on them.

Know how many Islamic extremists it takes to screw in a light bulb? None. They're perpetually in the dark because they have their heads up their backsides.

Know the difference between an Islamic extremist and a sack of manure? The sack.

What's the difference between an Islamic extremist and a Teddy bear, whatever its name may be? The bear has a higher IQ.

Here's a message to all you Islamic extermists out there. You know those 72 virgins you're expecting to get when you reach Paradise? They're GUYS!

Alternative response: They all have PMS!

Here's another message for all you towel-heads: Lighten up. Your Allah or whatever you call your God is the same as our God. And our God is merciful and forgiving. You could learn from that.

Oh yeah, and Merry Christmas, towel-heads!