Do You Know What Day It Is?

Isn't January a tedious month? The weather's lousy for the most part; couple that with post-Christmas letdown, and you have a month worth forgetting. Valentine's Day is coming with its attendant chocolate fest, but what do you do in the meantime?

Well, January ain't International Creativity Month for nothing. Let's get creative about what to do for fun in such a bleak, cold, joy-sucking month.

Let's forget that it's California Dried Plum Digestive Month. That's just another way of saying eat prunes to make you regular, and who wants to celebrate that?

It's also Oatmeal Month and Resolve to Eat Breakfast Month: overkill I'd say.

Not only is January National Lose Weight, Feel Great month, but the first week of the month is National Lose Weight, Feel Great week. Maybe January should be National Overkill month; we've just seen two instances of it.

Jan. 11-17 is National Cuckoo Dancing Week. I didn't know cuckoos could dance. Or maybe that one was prompted by watching "Dancing with the Stars."

National Chocolate Covered Cherry day was Jan. 3. Now there's a celebration that should last a month.

Someone must have gotten turned around when Jan. 7 was proclaimed Thank God It's Monday day. Who the hell is grateful for Monday? Someone who didn't expect to make it until then? That person has other reasons to celebrate. Monday stinks!

National Clean Of Your Desk Day is Jan. 14. Rename that one "That'll be the day."

Jan. 12 and Jan. 21 have something in common other than reversed digits: the first celebrates awareness of penguins, the second appreciates squirrels. The following day is Answer Your Cats Questions Day." My cats ask me "when are you going to feed me?" That's easy to answer. On demand. There is no other way with cats. That same day is National Speak up and Succeed Day; the cats are not stupid.

Jan. 24 is both Women in Blue Jeans Day and Women's Healthy Weight Day. It's also Belly Laugh Day. Draw your own conclusions.

Know who Thomas Crapper is? He invented the flush toilet. He just happened to have an unfortunate surname. Jan. 27 is his day. For whateaver reason.

Bubble Wrap day falls on Jan. 28. I visited the UPS store not long ago and stood in awe of a huge roll of bubble wrap there. I wanted to roll around on it. When I asked the clerk there if she were ever tempted to dive into that enormous roll of bubble wrap, she didn't share my enthusiasm for it. In fact, she looked like she thought I was crazy.

We'll wish her a happy Someday We'll Laugh About This week (Jan. 2-5) or a Hunt for Happiness Week (Jan. 20-26). Without popping bubble wrap and a little whimsy, all that's left is Nothing Day (Jan. 16).

Whatever the occasion, have a good one.