Christmas cards we'll never see

Unless you’re like a really organized friend of mine and sent out your Christmas cards Thanksgiving weekend, you’re probably addressing those cards now. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see some of the cards people in the news send and receive?

Here, with apologies to Hallmark and American Greetings, are Christmas cards we’re not likely to see.

For you, a merry Christmas
Is bound to be a given.
You worked so hard and all could see
Your campaign was so driven.

For me, I fear, this holiday
Is apt to be a bummer,
So here’s a card for you, Barack
From your friend, Joe the Plumber.

To the lower 49:
The time we shared was short and sweet
To leave you causes pain.
We likely would not have met at all
If not for John McCain.

We’ll have to wait till 2012
‘Fore I’ll be back to getcha.
So until then, so long my friend,
Happy holidays, you betcha!
Sarah Palin


Bill
If I had sat on Santa’s lap
And for him a list recited,
I would not be as I am now
So tickled and delighted.

We didn’t get the house of white
That we once did inhabit.
But fate gave me another prize
And you know full well I’ll grab it.

And so my dear for all your work
I really want to thank you.
‘Cause I’m still in retribution mode
And, my love, I still outrank you.
Hillary


To the Big Three
In years gone by I read your lists
Your wants were rather bold,
With seven-figure salaries and
Parachutes of gold.

I filled your stockings full of perks
Like limousines and jets.
Now Congress tells me you’re all jerks.
They’re hedging all their bets.

You guys are on my naughty list
Your heads are going to roll.
You guys may want a bailout;
From me you’re getting coal.
Santa