Who cares about a white Christmas?

With all due respect to Irving Berlin and Bing Crosby, what’s the big deal about a white Christmas? It’s over-rated.

As the song goes, “May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white.”

I have no quarrel with merry and bright days. We all need those year around.

Somehow I gotta believe that neither Irving Berlin nor Bing Crosby ever drove in snow or ice. If they had, they’d never wish any kind of white weather event on anyone.

I don’t think the first Christmas was a white one, at least not if shepherds were outdoors at night watching sheep graze. There had to be some grass growing somewhere, and I don’t think the camels that the Wise Men rode in on were accustomed to snow.

So much for originality.

The Santa Claus legend places him in the North Pole, but he’s not inconvenienced by snow the way those of us who aren’t legends are. He has flying reindeer; who wouldn’t get out more if those were available to the average consumer?

No doubt Irving Berlin was going for a mood when he wrote “White Christmas” for the 1942 movie “Holiday Inn.”

But put me in snow, and I get a mood too. It isn’t a romantic mood of fluffy mounds of snow, sleigh bells, and hot chocolate by an open fire.

It’s more of a mood involving staying upright while navigating ice patches and snowdrifts, checking for broken bones and bruised ego when unsuccessful at navigating ice patches and snowdrifts.

There’s the need to shovel the stuff off the driveway and sidewalk risking cardiac arrest and the wrath of the Postal Service.

And shall we also mention people who think they can drive in snow? But these folks drive like idiots when the weather is good, so what do you expect? And those overconfident people with four-wheel drives don’t seem to realize that 4WD is useless on ice. Those SUVs slide just like someone on skates for the first time.

I can remember when snow was something to look forward to. Back then — WAY back then — snow meant staying home from school, snowball fights, building snowmen and coming inside for hot chocolate.

So if you’re dreaming of a white Christmas, wake up! I’d rather wish you a safe and happy Christmas on dry ground and safe streets and roads. And hot chocolate.