After all is said and done, then what?

It’s common speculation; at the end of the world all that will be left alive are roaches.

Not a pleasant thought, but it does describe well how resilient the little critters are. They’ve been around since prehistoric times, they defy annihilation attempts on our part, and after civilization ends, they’ll probably still be around.

From a philosophical standpoint, it also illustrates that the more annoying and the least desirable something is, the more likely it is to outlive everything around it.

A conservation agent recently speculated that coyotes will be living among the roaches at the end of the world. No one especially likes them, they’re annoying and unpleasant, so they’ll thrive. Bunnies and fawns should be so lucky.

Let’s take this a step or two further. Houseflies are a given. They’re right up there with the roaches. Any critter that can hold still until just inches away from a fast-approaching telephone book and then fly away unscathed will be around long after humans are gone. A small percentage of flies may end up as a frog’s lunch, but the majority have nothing to worry about.

There’s little in life that’s less irritating than a pre-programmed recorded sales call. I predict that they too will survive the end of time as we know it. An earthquake tremor will activate the device that dials numbers at random; connection will be made. At that fateful instant, a rock will fall on an abandoned cell phone hitting the “answer” button, and then will be heard, “You have been chosen.....”

Or, if a telephone connection is made and there’s no one to hear it, does it make a sound?

After all of humanity is but a memory, my guess is that on every empty road there will be at least one abandoned shoe. I’ve always wondered where all those abandoned shoes come from. You never see designer pumps on the road; just sneakers and flip-flops, and only one, never a pair. Who rides in a car with their feet hanging out the window? What happened to the other shoe; should we wait for it to drop too? Once I was waiting for a light to change, I heard a noise, and there in front of me on the street was a flip-flop that hadn’t been there before. Did it fall from the sky? I didn’t see it fall. How did it get there?

Perhaps we should find comfort that when we’ve all gone on to a better place, life’s irritants — large and small — will remain here. Bugs, flies, coyotes, telemarketers, old shoes, loud TV commercials — for them, this is as good as it gets.