Baggin’ the bag — or not

Now that it’s spring, it’s time to change my purse. I usually do that around Easter, but it’s been such a cool spring that I haven’t really thought about putting away the basic black bag and bringing out something lighter and springier.

I was never one to coordinate my purse with my shoes. It takes too much effort to haul all that stuff out of one bag and transfer it to another. Which is partly why I am still carrying around my winter purse.

So unless I’m going somewhere special and a huge stuffed bag would make a rude fashion comment, I just stick with two purses a year. Large, roomy compartmentalized bags that hold everything but the kitchen sink, but could accommodate the sink if I wanted it.

Since I’ve been contemplating changing my purse one of these days soon, I’ve wondered about purses as both a fashion and a social statement. I’ve noticed that the First Lady Michelle Obama is never seen carrying a purse. Queen Elizabeth of England lugs around a handbag that makes people wonder what a queen keeps in her purse.

I’ve heard that the queen uses her purse to signal the attendants who travel with her. If her purse is dangling from her wrist, it supposedly means “this person is a bore, get me out of here.” It could be empty for all we know, but she uses it to talk to her staff. You don’t see the queen with a cell phone up to her ear; just her purse at either her wrist or her elbow.

Mrs. Obama seems to be capable of ditching a bore without shifting her purse. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t carry one. Since fashion seems to follow first ladies, I hope this doesn’t signal the end of purses. And I also wonder what she does instead of carrying a purse.

When she gets up from a chair how does she stop herself from reaching down and slinging her purse over her shoulder? Where does she stash her lipstick and tissues? Is there a female Secret Service agent assigned to her to carry around her credit cards, cash and keys? If she loses an earring, where does she tuck the remaining one? And where is her cell phone?

What does she do with her hands when she’s bored and has nothing to shift from one arm to another? If she finds a dime on the sidewalk, where does she drop it? Surely she doesn’t just leave it there.

Recently Mrs. Obama met Queen Elizabeth and made the news when the first lady hugged the queen against royal protocol. I wonder what the queen did with her purse then.