The solution for all that's wrong

I think I know the answer to most of the world's problems.

Bubble wrap.

Has anyone ever popped bubble wrap without a smile? Or a giggle? Or a devious grin that precedes more, maniacal, popping of bubble wrap?

Can't you just see a courtroom situation with one lawyer cross-examining a witness, the other lawyer plotting his response, the judge listening ominously on the bench, when POP! POPPOPPOP!

They'd probably dive under their chairs thinking someone opened fire on them, but imagine how the atmosphere in the room would lighten once the court reporter holds up a flattened sheet of bubble wrap and says, "Hey! No worries! It's just bubble wrap!"

Then they'd all share a good chuckle and the wheels of justice would spin a little faster.

Or imagine what a round of bubble wrap would do at a filibuster in the somber halls of the Senate. Both sides of the aisle would find reason to grin, elbow each other, and look around for a little wrap to roll between bipartisan fingers. It's what this country needs more than half a dozen bridges leading to the side of a cliff to keep the pork flowing back home.

Who knew bubble wrap started out as someone's idea of home decor? In the 1950s someone invented it as a new kind of wallpaper, when texture was a key word in wall covering and not in food preparation. For some reason, the notion just didn't take off. Flocked wallpaper did, but not puffy, popping wallpaper. Who'da thunk it?

It would certainly be a way of making sure you didn't get fingerprints on the walls. One touch in a dark room as you're trying to feel your way in after a late night and POP! Well, maybe that's why it didn't take off.....

If everyone had a shot at bubble wrap on a daily basis, the entire society's sense of humor would improve. At a UPS store not long ago, I saw a huge roll of it, about 5 feet high and several feet across. I asked the clerk if she ever felt, as I did at that moment, the temptation to spread some of on the floor and roll on it.

She definitely needed a sense of humor.

National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day is coming, Jan. 31. I'm saving up!