Valentines we didn't see -- but wanted to

To Newt and Mitt

It's been fun talking at you
With lively give and take
On immigration, ethics, Mideast peace
And how much you guys make

You've dominated until now
This long and boring forum
But it seems the voters like me best
Your buddy, Rick Santorum


To whatshisname:

You know that people follow me
And watch my every move
They see me being funky
And getting in my groove.

I'm known for being famous
And for dabbling in fashion,
But I won't be known as your wife
Good riddance, Kim Kardashian


To Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears

Roses are read
Ashes are gray
Do us a favor
And just stay away

Violets are blue
Prince Charming is gallant
But you two broads
Don't have any talent.

As age overtakes you
Your beauty retiring
Take comfort in knowing
That Walmart is hiring.