Keeping us all safe

Sometimes I have to wonder about the people who have decided they need to keep society safe. Safe from what?

We’re all accustomed to prescription medicine bottles that have child-proof caps no one can get into — except a child. I remember once after a bad arm sprain being given a bottle of pain pills at the emergency room. I needed two arms to open the blasted thing, and I had just the one. I ended up putting the bottle under the rocker of a rocking chair and crushing it open.

And by now we’re becoming accustomed to blister packs — items enshrouded in a plastic bubble that nothing can penetrate. Here’s a tip, but keep it quiet — you can open those with a can opener. But don’t tell anyone or else packagers will make them even harder to get into, and then we might need explosives.

But I’m still scratching my head in wonder about the short electrical cord on small appliances.

According to those who feel they must protect the public from itself, short cords are necessary to keep the appliances from being dragged off the kitchen counter by the cord and onto the floor.

By short cords, I’m talking about a cord no longer than a foot. Short cord.

Not long ago, I bought a coffee bean grinder. It has a cord I swear is only about four inches long. It sits on the kitchen counter and when I need to grind coffee beans, I fill the glass container with the prescribed number of beans, put the lid on it and set the safety catch, and then the gymnastics begin.

In order to plug it into the socket on the wall over the counter, I have to put the grinder on an inverted bowl because the cord won’t reach the socket otherwise. So the grinder is sitting on the bottom of the inverted bowl instead of on the stable counter. It could tip over, especially when I’m trying to reach the on/off switch which was designed to require more clearance under the cabinet than I have because of the need for the bowl. I have to hold it while it grinds the beans into coffee because if I let it go, it will fall off the bowl.

It won’t do me any bodily harm because the grinding blades are safely tucked away in the grinder. But it will spill beans and partially ground coffee all over the counter and under the toaster and the George Forman grill, both which have cords of a manageable length and both of which produce heat.

Now I have a mess to clean up, and I have to start over again grinding coffee beans in a grinder sitting on an inverted bowl because some yahoo somewhere decided that coffee grinders were so dangerous they needed to have a short cord. I face more of a safety risk from the fat catcher in the George Forman grill!

I wonder if I can be trusted with a battery-operated coffee grinder — unless the protectors of the public have banned them.