A change of fortune

Recently I had lunch in a Chinese restaurant, and with the bill comes the fortune cookie.

Most of the time when you crack open the cookie you get a little slip of paper with some ambiguous words that make you wonder “This is a fortune?” Then you toss it away and either eat the cookie or toss it with the little slip of paper. Some of them just aren’t very tasty.

Comedian Alan King used to have a routine describing his family’s ritual of reading the fortunes from their cookies. He would always read his as “Help! I’m being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery.”

Some sources say that the little cookies aren’t even Chinese. Some say they’re Japanese; others say they were born in America. If one is in position to buy fortune cookies, it’s possible to customize the fortunes. Some are funny, either by accident or design. They’re all gathered together on the Internet. For instance:

The fortune you seek is in another cookie.

A closed mouth gathers no feet. 

A foolish man listens to his heart. A wise man listens to cookies.

You will die alone and poorly dressed.

If you look back, you’ll soon be going that way.

You will live long enough to open many fortune cookies.

He who laughs last is laughing at you.

He who throws dirt is losing ground. 

We don’t know the future, but here’s a cookie.

You will be hungry again in one hour.

Never forget a friend. Especially if he owes you.

It is a good day to have a good day.

That wasn’t chicken.

I am worth a fortune.

You have rice in your teeth.

Avoid taking unnecessary gambles. Lucky numbers: 12, 15, 23, 28, 37

Normally I don’t pay much attention to the fortunes in the cookies. Sometimes I don’t even bother with them. They’re often stale — the cookies and the fortunes.

This one was different. It had a citrus flavor and was fresh. And I loved the fortune.

A pair of new shoes will do you a world of good.

I plan to test that fortune!