I guess creepy phenomena can be expected to occur around
Halloween — or in keeping with the way holidays in America are celebrated, way
before Halloween. However, I believe there is a connection between two seemingly
unrelated incidents of which people need to be aware.
First creepy incident: Pumpkin spice. For the past several
years, around the time the air goes from humid to a little nippy, retailers
start dragging out pumpkin spice flavored products. I suppose it’s to remind us
that Thanksgiving and pumpkin pie are looming on the horizon.
Suddenly, everything imaginable is flavored to taste like
pumpkin pie — except for the pumpkin. Now suddenly food is flavored with a blend of powdered cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger,
cloves, and sometimes allspice. So for that matter, are soap, room spray,
aromatherapy candles — and I’m waiting for someone to add it to cat litter.
Visit any retail
outlet and you’ll find pumpkin spice flavored coffee, yogurt, ice cream,
Cheerios, Shredded Wheat, gum, Pop Tarts, vodka, and apple cider. Nothing
tastes like pumpkin, just the spice.
Some have taken this
pumpkin spice thing a little too far: pumpkin spice flavored kale chips, potato
chips, M&Ms, candy corn, marshmallow “Peeps” and — heaven help us — Hershey’s kisses.
Mae West once said, “Too
much of a good thing is wonderful.” She didn’t mean pumpkin spice flavoring.
Second creepy incident: Scary clowns. Used to be clowns were
funny, like Bozo or Clarabelle from Howdy Doody fame (Boomers will understand
this. Millenials won’t be reading this). Now clowns are creeping around scaring
the waddin’ out of everyone, and are at some point likely to become the next
rallying cry — “Clown lives matter!”
According to a CNN online report, clowns are popping up all
over the place for a number of reasons – one of which is a marketing tool.
“Clowns are a source of childlike amusement, but they can
also be scary and weird,” says the CNN report. “Life is also scary and weird.
It's not a coincidence. Perhaps clowns are like specters of anxiety and discomfort,
bogeymen that personify our deepest fears.”
Or they’re just a fad, and will soon fade away like trolls,
gnomes and politicians. Just wait it out.
I don’t agree. I think the clowns are springing up all over
the country spreading anxiety and pumpkin spice flavoring wherever they go.
They must be stopped.
