An Iconic WHAT?

So there I was in a doctor's office this morning, which is where I usually get to read Time magazine because he can afford a subscription and I'm too cheap to buy one.

Amazing stuff you can read in Time. This was the Christmas edition when "everyone" was named person of the year. Hold your applause, please; I share this award with so many....

Anyway, how can I accept applause when I've been overshadowed by an "iconic blonde?" There featured among quotes from notable people was one that went something like "every era has an iconic blonde like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana. This is my time." Paris Hilton said it.

So that's what she does! Who among us has ever said "When I grow up I want to be an iconic blonde?" Who among us would imagine that Paris Hilton would know what 'iconic' means? You think of blonde you usually affix the prefix "dumb." Hence the jokes. Think Anna Nicole Smith. Think Dolly Parton who says blonde jokes don't offend her because "I'm not blonde." Being an iconic one paid off in her case, but Paris Hilton?

Sigh.

You know what this society needs? No, iconic brunette is too obvious, and then the iconic redheads will want equal time, and all the fun will get sucked out of being iconic.

It's time for an iconic "whatever you call someone who's got gray streaks growing in and gray hairs scattered throughout." Someone who, when you take a first look at her, you think, this woman has wisdom. This woman is distinguished. This woman is weary of trying to cover it all up and trying to look younger. She's graying and she's not afraid to let it show!

Alas, most people look right through those women, like we don't exist. No one designs clothes for us, unless you want to spend your life in painted sweat shirts with puppies in baskets or ones that say "Senior Citizen: Give me my damned discount." No one markets to us, except maybe laxative companies. No men pursue us unless they're trying to squeeze money out of us for a life insurance policy we've never too old for. The only jewelry we're offered has an alarm on it in case we fall down and can't get up. We've gone from sports car to minivan to one of those scooters to get around the house in.

It's hard to be an icon when no one sees you.

So, let's jump up and say hey! Look at me! I'm graying. I'm proud. I"m sick to death of sensible shoes and polyester pantsuits and frizzy perms! I'm smart. I have experience and wisdom to offer the world. I'm capable. And if it takes being useless and dumb like Paris Hilton to make our mark in the world, then we challenge that! Will Paris Hilton find her groove when she hits menopause hard enough to rattle her little brain? It takes guts, not beauty, to age. Ironic isn't it?

We're the iconic ironics!